Dice Rolling and Belt Kicking

Today marked a new era in my life:  the era of Shaun T. yelling at me to dig deeper while I lay crying and sweating on my basement floor.  Come to think of it, that’s not new; that’s been going on for a month now…

Today perpetuated an era in my life.

Because Insanity is a delightful little exercise routine that slowly eases you into exercises, the workout today included an hour of max interval training in addition to a half hour fit test.  Having to do a workout after a fit test is like having a professor say, “After our midterm, we’ll be having an hour-long lecture about everything I just tested you on.”  Awesome!

There are benefits to starting month 2, however.  Learning new exercises is great because it adds to my arsenal of dance moves. (“Dude, I think he’s doing the dice thing too much.” “That’s really all he’s got.”). Insanity has taught me killer dance moves like Mummy Kicks, Power Jacks, and lying on the ground crying and sweating.

VH1's Insane Love with Shaun T. update:  Tonia and Adriana were nowhere to be seen in this video.  This can mean only one thing:  Tonia was driven insane with jealousy and belt kicked Adriana in the face, leading to Tonia’s life imprisonment and Adriana's withdrawal from the Insanity program.  To console Shaun T., Hannah moved up to the front of the gym.  Will this new relationship "work out"?

Today marked a new era in Shaun T.’s life.

I like you, but you’re crazy,

Sam

Well, I have finally reached the level of insanity at which I can comfortably join the Asylum and post.

First things first: the first month of Insanity is done, and went fairly well. A lot more plyometrics/jumping that I had realized, but that's not a bad thing -- definitely effective as a workout.

Second things second: the second month of Insanity has commenced. And there is only one word to describe it: insane. Definite step up in both intensity and duration. I do enjoy the format of the workouts: essentially plyometric interval training, often (for example) with sets of 4 x 3-4 minutes (roughly), and a 30 second break in each set. Each 3-4 minute segment is comprised of a variety of different drills (sometimes 4, sometimes closer to 8). The first segment is generally a warm up, but after that it is about working as hard as possible for that "on" time. I think that's really conducive to getting a lot of work in efficiently; also, high intensity interval training is considerably more effective in terms of burning calories than general aerobic training (fact. look it up).

On to more important things. 1) I legitimately would watch John Tucker Must Die just for Brittany Snow. I mean, who doesn't like Meg Pryor? (I swear I only watched American Dreams because my sisters made me.....)

2) I have no doubt Sam is right re: Shaun T. and Tonia. I mean, Tonia's not that good at the workouts, yet he seems to be giving her forced compliments on every set. And she only smiles when he comes to talk to her; she looks angry the rest of the time. There's something going on there. (FWIW: I'm definitively in the Shaundriana camp).

Finally, the insane quote of the day:

"But I don't want to go among the mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Shaun T. "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Shaun T, "or you wouldn't have come here."

Breathing and Other Drama

Now that we’re in the fourth week, we’ve watched each video 5 or 6 times.  Each time I watch one, I pick up on something new.  For instance, when Shaun T. goes over to Adriana, the script follows as such:

Shaun T:  How you doin’, Adriana?

Adriana (out of breath): Good!

Shaun T:  Looking good! Keep breathing!

Adriana:  Yeah! Breathing!

It reminds me of the movie John Tucker Must Die – not that I’ve ever seen John Tucker Must Die and if I have it’s solely because of Brittany Snow and NOT because of Jesse Metcalfe or his big, dreamy eyes.  There’s a scene where Brittany Snow gets nervous talking to Jesse Metcalfe (rightfully so, see aforementioned dreamy eyes)  and she says, “I was just breathing. I breathe a lot…”

The first time I listened to the dialogue between Shaun T. and Adriana, I just thought she was tired.  After watching the video 6 times and needing something to motivate me to do 400,000 squats, I developed the following theory.

Shaun T. and Tonia are getting it on. He goes out of his way to compliment her; they are always the first to hug after workouts; she is in every video.  They are getting it on.  The conflict arises when Shaun T. walks right past Tonia to check on Adriana and they start flirting – as much as two people can flirt while doing power squats. Tonia is not happy.

Two things happen for the rest of the video.  1) Tonia visibly does every exercise faster and 2) Shaun T. tries his best to redeem himself by complimenting Tonia every exercise.

As sad as it is, I’m excited to start month two not to take my level of insanity up a notch, but because I want to see how this drama plays out!  Will Shaun T. and Adriana “dig deeper”? Will Tonia be dispatched to the hinterlands in the back of the gym?  Will Tonia be driven to true insanity and belt kick Adriana in the face?  IN THE FAAACCE!

To be continued.

I like you, but you’re crazy.

Sam

The first week is always the hardest...besides all the other weeks

Week one:  check.

I learned very quickly that there is a difference between being “in shape” and being “in Shaun-T shape.”  The former involves jogging on Sunday afternoons and going for hour-long bike rides. The latter involves a jumbo-sized bottle of ibuprofen and trouble getting out of chairs.

Luckily I’m writing this while sitting down. I’m not looking forward to standing up.

Insanity includes a lot more squats and jumps than I was expecting.  My new goal is to be able to dunk by the end of summer. Ok, maybe I’ll only be able to dunk a volleyball – but I’m going to throw it down like Phil Dalhausser.

Below are the results from my first fit test. Every other week we do a fit test to track progression (which may become a digression if – as I suspect based on my level of soreness – my muscles begin deteriorating like the Nazi’s faces at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark).  We can only hope I’ll be so lucky.

Move	Fit Test 1
Switch Kicks	131
Power Jacks	47
Power Knees	84
Power Jumps	35
Globe Jumps	6
Suicide Jumps	19
Push-Up Jacks	35
Low Plank Oblique	43

I like you but you’re crazy,

Sam

Pleading Insanity

Hello Blogosphere! Welcome to AJ and Sam's insane asylum.

Over the next 60 days, AJ and I will go from mildly demented to completely insane with the help of Shaun-T and his Insanity workout dvds. Before starting the program, B-Mil gave me the advice, "The first month is hard, but more makes you feel good about yourself. The 2nd month will murder you beyond belief." Oh boy.

A few caveats:
1) This is a direct rip-off of Ben and Ben Go Insane. To read about their (more interesting and humorous) journey, visit benandbengoinsane.blogspot.com.

2) I'll try my best not to rag on Tonya. For those of you who hate her with a fiery passion of a thousand hells, I'll again direct you to benandbengoinsane.blogspot.com, or "like" the facebook group called "I hate Tonya.... From Insanity" at http://www.facebook.com/Ihatetonya.

3) Because I'm going to be an accountant and AJ is going to be a lawyer, this blog will be written using financial statement analysis and legal memoranda -- can you say "Pulitzer"?  I can't. I'm not sure if it's Pull-itzer or Pyoo-litzer.

As we get progressively more sore, any encouragement/ice bags/ibuprofen are greatly appreciated.

So grab your straight jackets and padded solitary confinement cells cause it's time to go insane!

I like you, but you're crazy,
Sam